Temple of life

Temple of life

There are things that will be said that could hurt us but we will always try desperately to hide the pain and wipe away our tears. I would want none to see that side of me.
Those soft falling rivers that drench our cheeks and the sudden awareness of that deep emptiness we feel inside when the other is not there. Oh how can you have made such a torrent of feelings inside me when I felt aloof, immune and desensitized to all the temptations this world could place before me and in my path?
What are you that can do this to me?
Me, the one with armor plating around a cold and forgotten heart that is sometimes too shy to beat and push the lifeless blood through stilled veins
Me, the one so icy and oblivious to the warmth that was offered to me from so many...and then you came!
My walls dustily crumbled as you crashed through them with your innocence and beguile. What could I do to defend myself? I thought I knew all those tactics and could easily ward them off and keep myself free from the affections thrown at me.

You proved me wrong and showed how defenseless I really was and when your arsenal of charm engaged, I never saw it come and pass right through me. The grays became colored and like the petals reaching for the sun, I glowed in your light, I basked in your radiance and you presented to me my own emotions, laid bare and naked and how much now I know I need you in which to grow, let me reach out to you.
Can I die if you refuse me?

So often we walk along paths of unexplored territories yet feel fond familiarities, so often we overlook those little things that would grow if only we stopped to tend them.
Why do we do these things? Why are we walking a life that makes us not care the way we should care? Why is that so far from me that I desire close! What is it we do that gives us hope that we can plant a feeling in the other, needs and petty revenges?
I once told you I could make you a prince, did I not?
But do realms fall and riches tarnish, was the treasury filled with fools gold?
Who is the fool and would they still aspire to the forgotten throne?
I am just what I am, yet there is more, there is the one who never saw the day, she just peeks out at it through a hole in my soul
Can I cry my soft tears on your strong shoulders once more?

Could you hold me and really understand this need in me?
Will you tell me that the simple things I need can be ours?
I am all that? Am I too much?
I have confidence and doubts sometimes all that I am is not enough and sometimes even I cannot want to be near me!
I will smash your dreams today but tomorrow, you know I will give you new ones.
What was I that drove you away?
What was I that returned you?
What am I now I turn you away again?

The temple of life has a large feasting hall and an endless table.
It is filled with exotic delights savory and sweet. Can you take one meal and leave the others untouched?
Can I?

The crowd’s cries from the outside no longer deafen me.
Are they still there I wonder momentarily?
I relax in the chair and watch the hungry flames dance upon the logs.
The last of the Pinot empties from my glass and I regard that endless table with quiet contemplation.
Tastes of many lands remain untouched across the table and the grapes have soured!
Your chair is still cold and undisturbed old friend.
Where may you haunt now that your shadow no longer crosses my floor?
The samisen and balalaika's still play distantly, but I no longer feel like dancing.My gown lies in tatters and my mask long since discarded, the debauchery hidden from view.


To the cellars then in search of more wine!
Fortification I seek as I leave the dancing flames.
My robes about me to stay the chill of these vast marbled halls, no rap rap rapping at my door, just the ice of a long stilled winter and a path beyond now impassable with withered barks.
Bah! Even the sun refuses to rise, what beauty may lie there in the eternal night?
A landscape inhabited by demons and elements of mischief that sing in the winds.
Take your dread from my castle walls Satan's spawn. Leave my own personal hell to my own self.
Play on I command, for the music keeps sane my memories.
Yet why I allow you to walk the paths of my mind remain a mystery.
What chains you there? For I seem no longer to hold the key!
If I could free you, know that I would.
Some things are perhaps hard to let go but a burning iron remains in my hand...
and as I squeeze against that searing pain, another wine glass shatters in my hand.
Am I always destined to walk on broken glass? My sandals were lost on the dance floor.

A new barrel I carry from cellar to the tower and look out into the curtain of night.
Would those demons drink with me? Perhaps they won't drink from human kindness...
and laugh at me as I seek an escape from these walls crafted and cemented with my own hands.Play on I again command to minstrels unseen.
I look to the heavens and cry "Why have you forsaken me?", but he knows me not!
My friend pours himself from the barrel into another glass and accompanies me once more to the feasting hall.
I retake my seat after bringing your chair closer to the fire.
A toast old friend as I raise my glass.

"Drink to the simplicities of life and the hidden complexities!"