Uninspired

The day the words ran out!

Monday kept its promise to be a warm day outside but inside my steel and glass enclosure it remained cool. It seemed to be an endless round of meetings of planning content and coverage. After all said and done I looked at my future schedules and my assignments and my head just went totally blank. Hello, I'm running on empty here! I got up and dared to drink something warm and black from the drinks machine and I knew at once that something was wrong because what was in my paper cup was actually palatable for once! My personal history with machines of any kind, from coffee vending machines to paper shredders has been one of conflict and disagreement. Machines and I seem to have an estrangement that sometimes crosses the line of discord and becomes a relationship of mutual hostility! I drank and looked at my still blank monitor screen. Writers should not have to suffer the indignity of 'writer's block' although it seems quite logical from where the phrase of "writer's block" originated! I am one and I suffered. What if I was a pilot bringing in an A380 airbus to land and I suddenly suffered from pilot's block? Let's put the plane in a holding pattern, endlessly circling the airport until I can figure out our best approach. Did we bring in extra fuel and another in-flight movie? I sat back down and glanced over the papers strewn about my desk and still my head was as empty as an election promise. I say 'strewn' as if it was some war zone disorganized clutter but I knew where everything was so for me it was organized! Gone were the imagery and creative designs that usually flood my imagination with ideas that beg to be crafted into reality and make some blank page an artistic masterpiece. 'En masse' they had decided to go on vacation and leave me all alone with that terrible and frightening blank page! What will happen on the day that I don't have anything to blog about?
Who cares?

Midday slowly dragged itself past the lethargic morning hours and offered me a brief respite from the disappointing content of the morning meetings by allowing my escape to go in search of food. I had a noodles and salad lunch with Riko and we discussed the now open and blatantly obvious power of advertisers, who it seems are holding onto the reins of direction with a stronger grasp than some of the senior editors. I feel downhearted and perhaps I feel worse because I may see my own directional input become somewhat lessened when I see, or at least I think I see, that those who write the editorial content are slowly, deliberately and dare I say manipulatory 'guidance' by those who pay the big money. I'm used to my work passing between editors like a ball at volleyball practice match and after all of the alterations my name still gets tagged onto it. I don't believe that I would feel comfortable if the advertisers themselves were steering the re-writes and the focus and direction with my name being tagged onto the end of that to make it look like I am personally endorsing their product! Even though I only have two months left here I still feel such a loyalty to the original concept and I do feel that this influence is pretty invasive. I'll drown my woes in vodka and sorrow at a great loss indeed when it seems to me that the dedicated ad-space becomes smaller and to maintain revenues the content itself becomes advertiser driven.

Riko and I are paired up for the next two weeks which will be nice because I do like her style.

Important!

As from September 12 - I will be making my blog private.
I think this move will give it a more communal and select feel. I don't know if this will be a permanent move or not. If you wish to continue reading my blog after this date then please go to my profile before that date, click the email link and send me an e-mail stating your wish. You will need to give me your Google mail account to enable me to grant you access. If you do not do so by that date then you will no longer have access or perhaps the means to communicate with me.
If you don't have a Google account then making a new google account is easy!
Private Blogger blogs will require you to have one to log in.
Thanks.