Resurface

Friday night disappeared into my own brief firework display and my face must have lit up too with the reflected bask of satisfactory glows and admiration. We slipped quietly beneath the sheets and let dreams whisk us above the clouds until the first rays of dawn burned the sleep from our eyes.

	The Flamingos - I Only Have Eyes For You
	Found by Jazz also in blue

A three and a half hour drive, a creased map and an equally creased set of location instructions found us facing a large fence. Turn left and drive into the sea or turn right and drive into some commercial looking warehouses. It was not such a bad choice really, we saw a two groups of people who didn't exactly look like dockside workers and so we turned right and followed them and disappeared into what looked like fifty year old factory buildings. We were still forty minutes early. One of these buildings had the production company name on a large board outside and a sign for people with a booking notice to report into door "C".
Inside was a huge space with rack after rack of costumes and people hurrying around and people sitting in corners and others trying to organize people and some operating steam cleaning machines or sewing machines. I just tried to blend into the background. I really didn't want to wait in the car outside for hours and hours.
Hitomi had to show her notice and cast slip and was issued a number stapled onto to the booking notice while they hurriedly scribbled things down and she was directed into area five. Hitomi knew a couple of the other people getting sent to the various corners and smiled and nodded her hello to them. After about an hour of looking at 'no eating' and 'no drinking' signs a couple of assistants called Hitomi's number and she went off for make up and hair. Then she came back to the assistants and she undressed to her underwear and was quickly measured, they read her card and several costumes were brought over and tried on. Now there are bigger signs than the no eating signs and they say no unauthorized camera or video allowed. Of all the costumes that Hitomi tried on, one blue dress simply marked 'ballroom 126' was simply gorgeous and with her hair pulled back and the wig gracefully on her head really complimented the look and I forgot completely about that sign. My camera slipped out of my bag into my hand and took a picture before I realized how quickly it had happened and how naughty it was. I quickly put it away and whistled the innocent song of an angel. No one appeared to have noticed.
I fall in love with her all over again. She is so beautiful.
It reminds me of the first time I ever saw her in a theater in Nakano-ku.
We left at 7pm and headed home. She slept most of the way home.
We showered and ate dinner together. I told her that I was really excited about it all after sharing the day with her and apologized for my downbeat attitude of the week. She said I was tired and worn out and need to sleep more. She told me a lot more than that really and let me know how unfounded some of my fears really were. Fatigue has the habit of making small obstacles or worries look huge.
Does my rear look tired in this?
She dragged me into the bedroom (ok I chased her really) and we slept and I felt really good. The sense of relief of throwing off an unreal burden is exhilarating really.

Sunday morning I went to Excel, because I wanted extensions put in my hair. Treating myself to a whim but oh it felt so good. I cut my hair shorter two years ago to have a style and color much more stylish and modern and manageable and, oh yeah, a little more like Hitomi's but I think I'll grow it long again and the extensions is for the impatient part of me. And also because of how Miss fashion looked the other day, the girl who imitated my choice of outfit in front of me. The three hours in the salon were worth the results. When I got home my brother pretended not to recognize me and wouldn't let me in so I threatened to tell the customers that we only use imported milk from China and he kindly opened the door for me.That was funny ha ha.
We were invited over to my friend Kuri's home for the evening. Although we have many friends at the lesbian bar, it's really only Kuri and her partner Azami that we really become close with. The reason I feel is that they are like us, a long term couple free of the usual lesbian issues and are secure enough (read stable) to be mildly flirtatious to the point of fun but never to the point of a threat, which I must admit, I feel a lot in the club. It's loud, it's fun and it's a great time as long as you keep your hands away from the Venus fly traps!
Some gurls are a little bit too much!
I mean the closet is fine really and when you come out, so is a relaxed attitude and your own comfort with it, but never ever get led by the club scene that has currents that almost demand you showcase in a loud manner strong convictions beyond pink pride and rainbow marches and never ever be led astray by the slick back greased up butch babes with the soft alluring eyes and the siren voices. They are wildfire with a 'suicide on the rocks' in each hand.
No need to unfurl your banners or stand on self made pedestals, hello, attention seeking here! Just relax to the music of your soul and follow your heart.
I like Kuri and Azami because they are the kind of gurls you could trust with your most precious possessions and your deepest secrets and you would still feel and be safe with them.

We enjoyed a few drinks and shared news, especially the sad news about Nagi Noda, the artist who sadly passed away last week who most of us admired. But generally we just joked around with each other and it got worse (read better) when Chiki came over. She's fun, she really is, she isn't lesbian but is bi-curious a little (read lot) and plays the part outrageously to the point of over-statement. But more importantly and especially from my own personal point of view, I desperately needed this relaxing night out with friends and let my hair down (it's longer now) and once more Hitomi had found my cure, my medicine to relax and be comfortable again. I, more than many, know the hardships some people have to endure are a lot worse than the petty little worries I contemplate. But having a one on one talk on Friday night, sharing her day at costume fitting on Saturday and getting my hair done and being with friends on Sunday just made me feel human again, it made me feel wanted and accepted and loved. You know... the important little things in life.
... And note the length of my hair {wink}

Doubts and unfounded worries can be a cause for feeling isolated just as much as a shipwreck and a deserted island can. I tell everyone how important it is to communicate and then when I don't do it, the dark shadow is cast across Momo and I stand unbalanced on the edge of the world.

So everything is bright in the garden again and the world seems fine.
Shadows are only momentary darkness passing across the light.