Am I lost?

It has been another wonderfully warm summer's day here. It's been the kind of day to eat lots of ice cream and be cooled by the cool spray from the fountains. It's the climax of the week that has me rushing to all points of the compass. On Monday I submitted more applications for positions that I not only think I'd like to do but also perhaps hope I can do. On Wednesday I attended an in-house shoot with several other models from our agency. Several photographers spent time with the models in various backdrops along the large studio floor with clothes changes at specified intervals and a paying audience allowed in to watch the photographers and models at work. I spent Thursday morning out shopping for provisions and I also treated myself to a new pair of shoes. I had invited Terutaka over for a meal on Friday evening to say thank you for everything, for his shoulder and his emotional support over the last few weeks. When I needed someone there, there he was! I have had a lovely time re-kindling our estranged friendship again and somehow it takes me back to the days when we were really good friends. I want to experience that feeling again. Even though I seem to have written about Terutaka more than anyone else recently, I have actually been out with other friends on other occasions even if they don't manage to make it here onto my blog. I even popped in to see Ma at the Mars. She was shocked and couldn't believe my news of our split and in a way I still can't either.

Terutaka, more than anyone else has really been there for me. When I was down he made me laugh and when I cried he held me in his arms and wiped my mascara run tears and when I just needed someone to talk with he sat and listened to me without complaint. We had not spoken at all hardly during the time Hitomi and I have been together except for a pretty disastrous dinner party and then again when I was in the hospital he came to see me and even when I recovered from surgery and was allowed home he visited the restaurant downstairs to make sure I was well. I am sure I do not deserve such special attention from him from the distance that suddenly came between us. Perhaps true to his word that he gave me in the park when we said goodbye so long ago, he really does care. No, I know he does and I am certain that we will be friends for always.

I made prawns in breadcrumbs for starters that was followed by salmon udon noodles with a spicy pepper and shrimp tempura and a seafood salad with lime, seaweed and cucumber along with boiled rice. This was followed by mochi and melon for dessert. He brought over a couple of bottles of Sancerre.
He gave me the most delicious smile and complimented me too much for my efforts which I of course dismissed but inside I was positively glowing. I often cooked for Hitomi and I but to cook for someone new, well a very old friend once more and to have him eat well and with a great appreciation gave me tremendous satisfaction.

Our conversation turned to music especially with the recent deaths of a couple of notable Japanese musicians, Rei Harakami and Taiji, once of 'X-Japan.' Like me, he has an extensive music collection and since he had not been in my apartment for a long time he asked if he may look through my collection. I of course told him to feel free. There were some notable gaps in my collections where Hitomi had taken her CD's but he didn't mention anything about that. He pressed the open button on my player to look at what was inside.
"Lost into Experience"? He asked.
I told him I'd picked up this album by Nichole Alden during my trip to LA and suddenly the music, well one particular song had become pertinent and so I tended to play it over and over again.
He asked if he could listen to it and so I played it.



We played it several times before he said he was going to get copy too. We talked about the fact that music itself does not contain any emotion and I wanted to disagree with him saying that we can all name happy songs, sad songs and love songs. He just coldly said that it is we ourselves that make connections to the music or the title of the lyrics and the emotion we feel is actually what's in our minds. The music may trigger something in our memories or we may connect the lyrics to an event in our lives. I reluctantly agreed with him.
"What does this song, Baby now, make you think of?" He asked
"It speaks to me, it's like what is happening in my life at the present and why do you like it?
"I find it sultry and sexy in a sad way but it most definitely makes me think of you!" he said and I suppose he's right again although I kind of made him admit that it's a sad song. I wasn't going to argue the point because he'd just tell me that the sadness is in me and he sees it and makes the connection now that I've made him aware of it.

It is now Saturday evening and I'm packing to travel to Osaka for tomorrow, I drank a few beers to calm the fluttering butterflies in my tummy.

*The youtube video shows scenes from a Korean movie, Sarang (a love) and the song is Nicole Alden's 'Baby now' from her album, Lost into experience.