Momo's Musings: Fill my little world right up!

The room is dark and I reached out to find you, all I touch is the cold emptiness of your place.
You had called me last night and your voice was as music pervading my very essence. Will I ever hear such another wonderful melody as sweet? I love the enthusiasm of your tones and I eagerly drink your news and I love to hear about the applause that you earn and taste all the good things showered upon you. The saddest part is that I do not share it with you in person. I am admiring it all from the dark distance beyond the audience and beyond the city walls.

You were on my mind and as I slept and I dreamed of you.

We were in an amphitheater, Roman like with supporting columns about its circumference. An audience of pale impassive faces with empty staring eyes like the masks of comedy & tragedy surrounded us. You stood there at a distance, waiting seemingly endlessly but I was speechless and still as stone with forgotten lines and no offered cue to save us. Between us were walls and pits and the portrayal of a battle field bloodied with dead warriors played by dead actors.

There lies a mortifying and awkward silence about us with an embarrassing expectation from the unyielding audience as I see you trying to silently mouth my lines imploring me to remember. I want to hear you and I want to taste those lines upon your sweet lips, I want desperately to end the silent yet pertinacious critical faces that loomed ever closer willing the scene to conclude.
It is in that moment as I slowly reached out to you that I woke.

I go and make some warm milk. It's funny how my apartment seems so large when you are away. Your aquamarine necklace and half read Ryu Murakami novel with the interesting title of '69' left behind on the table are like the notes of yesterday promising your return tomorrow. It's almost as if in touching them it allows my hand to reach across the gulf of unkind kilometers that separate us and touch you. The warmth of the cup in my hand that dispels my chill should be the warmth of your heart. The warm milk that would ease me into the arms of Morpheus should be the arms and embrace of my desires and you who I dream of are all that to me.
If only I could whisper into your ear right now the words that tell you how you fill my little world like a gallery of masterpieces and a library of the greatest poets. You splash your paints across my skies that dance about me like ribbons in the breeze. Oh how I long to swim in the warm and gentle sea of your love and to be surrounded by it. To be enveloped in it, to draw strength from it. I long to hold you close and never let you go. I want you to see how beautiful you really are in my eyes.

If the rain reminds me of you then I shall dance in it and when you next see the rain fall, it brings to you my hug and my kiss. It runs through your hair like my fingers would.
When I'm with you and when I dream of you I am transported to a world of the fantastic where I am swept from my feet and every romantique scene from every love movie we ever saw is played out between us.... our world is the stage and amidst the props and icons of beauty, I read my lines aloud and confidently, scripted from my heart without rehearsal and do not stumble as in my earlier dream.

Oh look at me! I am like a teenage girl with my first crush!
I miss her. Perhaps her absence shows that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation for I certainly feel a greater need in me.
Aoku sunda hitomi ni means 'the thrill in my heart' and is a play on words as well as perhaps an apt name for a play on stage regarding the feelings I have for Hitomi.
But rather than script that, I love to live it.
I will drink to the pain and the passion, the paradise and your perfect fit into my little world.