Never gonna be the same again

Maps of the world don't usually change much in the span of a human lifetime. The maps of where you live may change every decade or so. Maps of our lives are in a state of constant change. It seems almost as soon as we've drawn and completed our life-map it needs revision. The glaciers seem to sweep down over our topographical features during the night and this puts mountains under oceans and the old valleys become new mountains.
The thaw of the new day has me putting my old map in the recycle bin as I fall over new contours and search for landmarks.

Yesterday another little piece of my old map blew away in the winds as the girls in the office said goodbye to a dear friend from the arts department. She was one of those girls with a genuine smile and a gentle strength who brought out the best in others and she could almost pull you up and out of any bad day you may have been suffering. She made me happy when we seriously shared tasks or giggled over laughing lunches and blissful breaks. Now we are all happy for her as she takes a higher position with a rival company but sad that we won't see her again warming our surrounds.

She could take a blank piece of paper and with a few colored pens and a few deft strokes, within minutes she could have something that 'Leonardo da Vinci' would look at in admiration with approving nods of his head. She wasn't afraid of change. She saw something in her mind and and transfered it easily to canvas. Just as easily she saw this opportunity and created her life plan on paper and redrew her map to navigate to it and accommodate it into her life.
I admire her for that.
After the goodbye drinks at work a few of us had more drinks with her in the bar across the street. As I asked or perhaps interviewed her about her feelings on moving on, never once did she offer me anything less than a positive and confident aura of anticipation. She was walking tall into her new future. I admire her for that too.

I don't know if I fear change or just make excuses not to reconcile myself with it. Hitomi and I have discussed the possibilities of moving over to Osaka and she's even tried the compromise of promising just a six month trial to see if we can make it there.

Other than running the dance class here and having a few minor slots, her biggest work options have always been over in Osaka and Kobe. I start to feel guilty and I feel that I'm some kind of anchor restraining her.
All of her family is here and two of my brothers are here too. Our home is here and neither of us has to pay accommodation fees. All of our friends are here and so is everything else that we know.

If we were to move and try then of course we will always have here to fall back to but it just won't be the same. Somewhere deep inside me is a sentimental vein, layered deep between the basalt of holding on to what I have and the limestone that is reluctant to erode into new shapes.
Consider it a fault!
I don't want us to live apart and she seems more adamant and more excitedly insistent that we should step out of our comfort zone and taste adventure and uncertainty and 'live dangerously'. The innocent charm she wears across her face as she expresses herself is beguiling enough but I'm unsure. It's not easy giving up solid foundations and uprooting just like that. I like to know there will be a little firm ground under foot if we do move.
Is it recklessness?
What of my job?

In a small way the sense of adventure excites me and I want so much to please her and make her dreams real. I want to say "Yes, let's do it and to hell with everything." But if it doesn't work, what would we do then? 'Down and out in Osaka and Tokyo and other Orwellian tragedies' seems to be the title of a dusty old book in the corner bookshelf.
Let's roll the dice once more, cut the deck and put all our chips on red and spin the wheel.

{ONE: Leaving for the last time TWO: Attending the monochrome show last December THREE: In the think tank FOUR: At a section meeting}