To the ends of the Earth

There are some moments in the early darkness and in still silence when I forget to breathe. Stars swim across my eyes and the pressure almost explodes inside my breast. I begin to breathe again in short hurried gasps with the sound of a racing heart in my ears. No words slip from our room as she turns away from Voluptas to find soft comfort within the arms of Somnus. She's oblivious to the blown kiss blown from my hand that glides across our distance. When I return home, you will have gone and the tardy moon illuminates my departure as the door softly closes behind me.
It was once of those unreal mornings where perhaps you haven't had enough sleep and the world seems a little flat and two dimensional and the voices of those sitting next to me seem distant and remote. The drinks machine viewed me menacingly as it always does and I boiled water in the kettle to make my cappuccino triple strength to return a little depth to my world. The drinks machine will have to wait until next time to either burn my hands or tongue or poison me and I smile in my small victory of human over terminator machine. The rest of the morning painfully and seemingly with great effort dragged itself lazily across my clock since I had promised myself to sleep on the journey in the afternoon.
The expenses system at work has changed and now I get a little voucher to exchange at the ticket office for my train ticket.
Everyone has something in their hands on the train. They have magazines or papers from work. They have Game-boys and Nintendo DS's, Ipods and palm held internet browsers and they are happy to pass their time in digital format.
I make myself as comfortable as I can in what seems a surprisingly hard chair and I sleep.
The world passes me by in a Doppler shifted hiss and I hope my dreams can catch me as I head towards the end of the Earth.

I have meetings here over the next couple of days and all from the comfort of the aptly named 'comfort hotel', which was very nicely built just across the road from the station and not as has been a usual instance of it being hidden somewhere across unknown city streets where only expensive taxis can find it and I no longer have the luxury and ease of my previously coveted and flamboyant expense account.
Welcome Jazz to the end of the Earth and an arrow pointing back to the way I came in saying 'This way back to civilization!"

Born of the soul & breathed into life by passion
Daughter of the Earth and Sky
The glowing edge of a doves wing
The sea shells song, the voice of twilight
A pearl formed in secret, made from pain
Softened by tenderness*

Sometimes I feel disappointed at our so called civilization. We can talk globally on the internet. We can perform medical miracles and put our technology into orbit. We can build a mile high city and explore the deepest parts of the ocean. The one thing we cannot do is escape from the beast within ourselves.
The spectre of war created by political and religious fundamental idealists walks amongst us constantly. There are people who believe that they should save us from ourselves and impose their ideals upon us.
Along the same line as my previous statement but to a much lesser point are those people who really believe they are helping some when they truly don't understand.
I read in the news about therapists trying to cure gay people from their homosexual desires.
My stars!
We don't have a disease.
If ninety percent of the world likes red and ten percent of us like blue would you say we are color blind?
This kind of news annoys me especially because therapists are mature and educated people with a deep understanding of people of whom we usually entrust them with care and responsibility.
All we need is acceptance and understanding.
There are many things out there in the world we can like and love. Lesbianism is a choice I made because of how I feel about who I love and since it's a love thing it should be good! There are many things out there in the world we should dislike. People trying to force their points of view to dispel what they perceive as ignorance is just one of those things.

I look at the world and sometimes and I cry. Our toys have evolved from colored stones and wood carvings to computers and organized sports and our small community villages are spreading across the world to be global in nature. But socio-politically speaking, as much as we attempt diverse understanding and altruistic tolerance, we fall foul of our very own nature that tells us to be wary of strangers and those who are different from ourselves.
Misunderstanding, ignorance and intolerance is an obstacle to the growth of the human spirit and its history shows that it has taken more from us than floods and famines ever could.
Remove us from the social environment we find ourselves fortunate to be in with its laws and confines and the true nature of mankind would suddenly become apparent and obvious. Undressed from our civilizations we become the beast, a beast that preys upon itself.
Perhaps Voluptas is revisited in novel form?
We can be so great and in the worst of time we often are at our best but underneath it all...
If leaders are those that would take us to a better place why is it that some would lead us over the edge?

* Lines taken from "An Ode to Voluptas