Getting back to normal...

Monday morning was fairly quiet with only one appointment for me. I was home in time for lunch and switched on my computer to write up my report.
I glared at the red light on my my router and it glared back at me nonchalantly. No Internet activity detected on my DSL. I sipped tea to calm my inner growling at machines and as I worked a little more it still shone in a very disinterested and unconnected red way.
Once my work was completed it still shone red with no regard for my deadlines and so I couldn't send anything into the office. I saved it to my memory stick and went shopping and sent it from the net Cafe.
Looking around the store I am amazed at how the prices have risen on some goods. I decided to be kind to my bank account and to the store that are trying to sell off some lines by promoting them so cheaply and bought up some of the bargains. I was just putting my shopping in the back of the car when I noticed Hitomi's dad standing at the bus stand. I waved him come over but he can't have seen me. I drove to him and opened the door and he took about thirty seconds and have the bus waiting patiently behind me to move out of the way before he decided to get in. I tried to make light talk but he wasn't interested. We drove to his house with just the radio to spoil the silence. It does not matter that he dislikes me because from my eyes he is family and I have to accept his choice. "Yes, I'm the girl that took your daughter away from the true and honest path, I'm the one that led her into sexual depravity and away from any possibility of giving you grandchildren!" I thought to myself, "Yet you only consider it from your own point of view. I'm the one she loves and I'm the one who does my best to make her safe and happy in this world. I am her choice of whom to love! Why not try to see it from her point of view."
I don't really have the right to say that to him and perhaps I should not even if I could because of my respect for him but I do think it. He got out quietly when I stopped in front of his house and with a quick nod of thanks he strode into his house. I nodded back and drove home with both my spirit and my car feeling lighter.

I got home and the red light still reminded me that not all was well.
I phoned my help desk and described my problem at great length and they tested my line. All was well they said and then they told me to reset my router which I did....
The red light changed to green and that's the color I felt as I thanked the very kind operative for his assistance.

Kuri came over for the evening to put the extensions back in my hair but first we chatted at the kitchen table while dipping our mini Kit-kat fingers in our coffee. Oh I lost so much weight I can afford the occasional touch of calorie excess now. She showed me the pictures from her recent fishing holiday and although they look great and I see her happy smiles I just cannot imagine myself going on such an excursion with fishing as the main activity. She loved my photographs and gave me some great encouragement and compliments and then they were put away. While she did my hair she talked about Azami and the sadness that is the fact that they are truly over. They had tried to be together once again and we had hoped that they could work it out but I think the damage had been done. Later we ate dinner together and had a little red wine and reflected on what was, what had been and what could have been. Actions always bring consequences! I think I'm glad that she and I didn't take advantage of loneliness when the chance almost presented itself eighteen months ago. The thought of it is exciting and yet I know how devastating it can be. Sometimes I have even doubted Hitomi's integrity but I don't think she ever has betrayed me and I certainly cannot slap her in the face with doing it to her. I kissed Kuri goodnight after I drove her home and I know what I saw in her eyes. I know also what she saw in mine. As I drove away I also had a tear because now I believe that it wasn't just goodnight but it was also goodbye.
Things do slowly settle into what we call a normal routine but things are never the same as they were. What the hell is normal anyway? The only normal people are the faceless people in the crowds, the ones you know nothing about because once you do learn about them you realize that they are far from normal!
We probably all think of ourselves as normal because in truth we see the world from our own pair of eyes and judge what we see by our own values. It is perhaps a rare thing that we live up to our own standards!