Another goodbye

I sat with my brother last night as we ate a late dinner together in our restaurant. One of our regular customers came and passed the sad news to us that Hashimoto Sama had passed away last Monday after a short illness.
This was a shock to me and made me feel very sad. She was a beautiful lady and only just into her 6th decade. She was a regular customer here and was a good friend of my Mothers when she ran our restaurant those many yesterdays ago.

When I was nine or ten, I remember sitting at a small table with Hiro, who was six or seven then, by the kitchen door where Mother could keep an eye on us before bedtime. Mother would organise the kitchens as we ate and then after we had been open for a while she would walk around the floor seeing all was well. Then she would sit at her table like the matriarch and some of our regulars would talk with her offering her compliments or passing news. I have vivid memories of Hashimoto Sama and Momma laughing and talking for what seemed like hours. She was kind enough to come and visit Momma when Momma was sick and I remember her stories she used to tell us when she would sometimes sit with us, funny stories and reassuring stories. She often came here after Hiro started to manage the restaurant after Momma retired and she came to Momma's service after Momma passed and and even I talked with her just last November when I told her of my new job. She was very happy with that news. She wished my success and passed her kind regards to my Father.

With tears then, another goodbye and another tie to the past has gone and it has made me think for a moment that all the hours of her life that past, the love, her joys, her sadness, all those moments have now gone like a pool of rain water under the warm afternoon sun. What lives on of her now in this world are the collective memories of we who are left behind and who knew her and fondly recall those moments she shared in our lives. It makes me think of how fragile everything is and that one day what will be left here of me? The leaf falls from the autumn tree. How will I be remembered?
Every year since my 20th year I have kept a private journal and perhaps some will remember me fondly from the words I leave behind or the moments I left in their lives.

All of this strongly reminds me of a book written by Kito Aya, "Ichi Rittoru no Namida" (One litre of tears), the true life diary of her life from 15 years of age when she was diagnosed with Spinocerebellar ataxia, which is a degenerative disease where she gradually loses all bodily function, her body slowly became her prison until her sad death aged 25. Her notepad diary was published after her death to show how she struggled bravely with fate.
Her tragic story was also made into a movie and a TV drama starring Erika Sawajiri, of which I place a youtube video of edited highlights with the closing theme.

A short and tragic life easily illustrates to us how much life is worth and how much we could waste and how valuable every experience is to us. How we leave our moments in the lives of others. It really makes me think of all the lost smiles and the precious moments from yesterday. Not only those times shared but even out private reflective moments alone. How life is but only a moment. We are children of the stars and we burn across a few years and then our physical destiny is dust. When I pass to a greater journey and my body is left behind, I hope very much that some will remember kindly of me as I favorably remember Hashimoto Sama. She was a warm and wonderful person who shone brightly with great beauty and understanding.



The opening diary asks "Momma, will I ever marry...?"
The music that accompanies this video is called "Only human" by K

Get the music here.

Watch the drama here (English subtitle)

Hashimoto Sama, I would thank you so much for all the precious moments you gave to me and to the many others you gave to my Mother. You gave to so many. We were so lucky to know you. Thank you.

Across oceans of experience
there lies a distant shore
It awaits our footprints and hopes
Tears from those left behind
New dreams and smiles walking forward

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