Random thoughts in a cool head or cool thoughts in a random head

Last week while I was with Hitomi, I had mentioned to her about Ayu telling me that Terutaka, my last boy-friend, was around again and had not disappeared from the face of the Earth as we all had suspected. I had seen his Mother over the months when I had been in Roppongi and spoken to her once or twice but it was just the social niceties and no real information was passed. I think there was a measure of embarrassment from both sides since at one point he and I were one step away from marriage. Then everything fell to pieces and the whole Earth was swallowed up by the sun and neither side of midnight had looked like a good place to dance. Just like any events in our lives, I have played it out in my head over and over again, first blaming myself, then blaming him, blaming exterior pressures and then finally realizing that it was a result of a series of bad circumstances and perhaps it was our fault that together we didn't stand and fight for what was ours. But much more than just that brief glorious moment was the friendship that we'd enjoyed since before that and back to our school days and Ayu was right, that this should mean a whole lot more, especially since he was making the first gesture of an out-stretched hand of renewed friendship. I guess I really should be calling him my friend and not my ex, but before I go that far, I really want to see how our first meeting will go.

After I had told Hitomi the news she just came to sit by me and held me for a while and said it was ok to meet him. Hitomi had only met him the once when I was in hospital two years ago and they had visited at the same time.
What was the hug about?
I had thought that it was a thank-you for be being totally upfront and honest with her and seeking her permission first before I met him. But she knows me well and that I'm like that anyway! So then was it a way of saying 'I feel a little insecure about your meeting but I trust you' and hug for emphasis? Never in our time together have I given her reason to doubt me and she has never given me reason to doubt either. Finally after giving the matter great thought, I think that it's just the guilt and nervousness of my own feelings about meeting him that sends all these doubts and crazy thoughts through my head.

I met up with my old friend Aya for lunch, which was more Sapporo Pilsener Premium than the kushiyaki and you already know that I've cured my addiction to alcohol, right?

Haha!

Aya has always 'liked' Terutaka and she was urging me to text him as I told her the story and so I finally relented and did it. I can't keep putting it off! His reply came back before the food arrived, saying that he is free on Friday night.




So as Aya is trying to get me to do something wild like meet him in the Womb, that's a nightclub in Roppongi and not the physical location in my body, and incidentally it is also one of her favorite places to hang out. I decided to text him and say that we can meet for dinner in my brother's restaurant at eight.

I think I prefer the advantage of home ground because I am a little nervous about it and I have other reasons for doing it this way.

When it comes to filling in my blogs with, as I phrase it, "random thoughts and other neural activity painted upon my canvas!", I always wonder what everyone's favorite topics are and if you prefer me to write about what's happing in my life or you my personal thoughts of what's happing in the world or a mix of both which I think offers a good balance.

I now find that my Father arrives in the city this Friday evening which was unplanned. To say he has retired is an untrue statement even if it is his official status. Yes he spends more time on the golf course and he even had a round with Hitomi who loves the sport too, but he still spends more than thirty five hours in the office or chasing contracts or helping Tokutaro, my eldest brother, who now takes his place. So I have postponed my evening with Terutaka until the following week.

シュガー＆スパイス

Sugar & Spice