Strange week

It's been a funny few days since Sunday. It wasn't the kind of funny as in rolling around the floor in fits of laughter but more like the strange gray fuzzy edged feelings left over from a dental injection. Instead I felt this numbness all over and not just in my mouth. During the night I could not sleep at all and I started hearing noises as if some strange animal or even the ghost of an animal was softly walking around in my apartment. I could cry again because my imagination is so wicked and nasty to me at times and I pulled the pillow over my head. Annoyingly I could still hear it and I shouted out to the dark emptiness that it wasn't fair to do that to me and please go away. I reached for Hitomi's pillow and put that over my head too. Let me drown out the noise of this world! I heard the ticking of the ornamental clock and the hum of the refrigerator from the kitchen. I heard a dripping tap somewhere and some strange ghost haunting my sleep time. I did feel much better under the two pillows but then I wondered if I could die like this. Would my lifeless body be found in the morning lost under the soft pillows and death by smothering is pronounced? I choked even thinking about it! Finally I fell a long and slow way down into a strange dreaming sleep. I dreamed that I was up on the roof with my cat and we were looking out over the brightly lit chrome and glass city.
"Can you see the tsukiji fish market from here?" my cat asked me nonchalantly.
I regarded her for a moment with more than just a little concern because even in dreams I knew that cats are not supposed to talk with us humans. "Are you thinking of your tummy again?" I asked. She shrugged her shoulders and waited for my reply. Cats arch their whole spine when they shrug their shoulders!
"I can't see it from here and in fact I can't see you very well either." I replied because at this point she started to fade away, just like the cat in Lewis Caroll's wonderland. I wondered just how far wonderland was and if I could run and play there when I was finally left alone with just Kushisa's smile. I'm glad she left me a smile because that's important to me. I smiled back and then I placed my top hat on my head, evicted the dormouse from my teapot, turned and left. I wasn't sure if I awoke at this point or if I still dreamed but I'm sure someone like Erwin Schrödinger would attest that I was either one or the other. I think I've always liked to be in-between like a middle of the road position that avoids extremes but there's a lot of traffic there! 'In between' may have as many advantages as it does disadvantages! But once I saw daylight peeking through my blinds I was certain that I was now awake and I was rather pleased to know that I hadn't died a smothering death beneath our pillows, unless of course this moment is the delirium of my oxygen starved brain. In daylight I could peek into the room to ensure no real animal was there. Oh no! What do I do?
The prospect of living with insanity actually scares me!

On Monday morning Hiro took Kushisa to the vet's office for cremation and I went into work but I didn't feel at all good. You can say "Don't be stupid, it's only a cat!", but she meant a great deal to me and her loss did affect me. I asked for a few days unpaid leave because I just feel that I cannot offer my best and it was accepted and granted. I arranged for another girl to assist Chinami until I return on Friday. I came home and did nothing noteworthy. I carefully wrapped her little toys and her collar and her food bowls in her blanket and laid them in her bed and put it in a box. I stored away another box of memories, I'm such a sentimentalist!

On Tuesday morning I emptied her litter tray and cleaned it and before I knew what I was doing I refilled it with fresh litter for her. Later I went to the shop looking for a new cell phone and came home with one that I liked. Everyone has been hinting that I'm out of the loop without one. To be honest I quite enjoyed being out of the loop and it was nice leaving appointments and keeping to schedules without the office leaving me messages so that when I come out of an appointment I'm diverted somewhere else. I came home with one and as recommended, I set it to charge for twelve hours only to find that the charger does not charge. On Wednesday morning I took it back and had a refund and I didn't even have a replacement. I went to see Maestro and have him fix me up ready for a big week next week and have him make me feel good as usual. He was very gentle and caring and understanding. He's really a lovely man. Tonight, Thursday evening, is the night that Miss 'miss me lots' comes home from her venues at the ends of the Earth and in Osaka. So tonight I should be like a cat on a hot tin roof!

I must say thank you to a very special friend of mine who has cheered me up immensely in a sad moment. She held my hand and she cared and even when I chose silence, she was respectfully silent but still there waiting and stood by me holding my hand throughout. She knows the time for silence, the time to hug me and the time to tell me to wake up. She also gave me lots of small but very meaningful gifts. Thanks Anna, you are very special to me and I really appreciate all you said and did to make me feel better and make me smile once more.

	What's New Pussycat? - Tom Jones
	Found at skreemr.com

I am still fuzzy in my head! I was trying to think of a really nice cat song. I thought of "cool for cats" and I thought of "stray cat strut" but I finally settled on this one by Tom Jones.
Who of you know a good cat song?