A canal runs through it (Pt2)

Every time that I have been here in Otrau, I have always said that "I feel calmer here, as if the stressful environment of 'rush city' falls away into the distance and leaves me feeling as if I could walk on clouds." This place has never been my home and yet strangely it feels more than home. It feels like I could so easily belong here and feel a greater freedom. I wonder if in my mind that may refer to having less of a responsibility or some other such fancy. Several times the thought occurred to me that I never want to leave this place. In my absence it would continue to exist and far to the south beyond its sheltering hills, a girl sat at a desk would dream of this place. Looking out over the bay I was invigorated by the salty breeze that cooled me from basking under the summer sun. The rocks that I sat upon must have had countless generations come along and sit on them and admire the beauty and the serenity of here just as I do. A place such as this I hope will last for at least a thousand more generations to come and they too will have such moments as these. What words were spoken here decades ago I wonder and such words may still hauntingly echo amongst these rocks. What words will come and dress them tomorrow and a hundred years hence? Poets could sit here and be inspired to write great works! The deep and clear blue waves don't crash here as the energetic waves of the Pacific would slam them selves against our southern shores, here they seem to respect the the stillness and the calm and the waters are placid and gently they caress the rocks that were my vantage point to behold such wonder.

I am happy here and I have often said that life is all about happiness and as we watch the minutes of life pass us by we should consider such feelings. I am not talking about just being content, laid on my bed with a good book or having a midnight moment of madness with a DVD and a large dish of ice cream. I mean being here and saturating my senses within this tranquility. Happiness comes from enjoying moments such as the hot passionate shared moments with my lover, listening to the sweet violin of Crisako Takashima, having carefree fun with my friends, the magic moments we share with children and to be here in such a place where the future doesn't really matter at all because here it has a sense of timelessness and the minutes stretch themselves into hours and I am immersed within a 'eudaimonia' moment. This is not just a state of bliss but a whole way of life.

The meadow just behind the house is a magical place rich in green splendor, speckled with spots of color as the flowers peep at us and spice the air with fine fragrances. Here where the years of growth that my sisters and I have accumulated fall from us like a spring rain that leaves behind it the freshness. We run and laugh and play like children, our carefree abandon sounds like innocent laughter and is eagerly projected with radiant smiles. This place could well be the haunts of Peter Pan and Wendy Darling. "Oh I do believe in fairies, I do, I do!"
Let Tinker belle sprinkle more magic and once again as a child, I can look at my world with wide-eyed awe and see the beauty in everything.
Isn't this the idyllic life? Yet we cannot hold on to it for long. The pressures of life demand that we return to our responsibilities and duties. We chain ourselves to niches and reality sometimes wears a face that wouldn't look inappropriate upon the strict school mistress staring menacingly at unruly children. Each one of us is a cog in the great clockwork of society.
'Deus ex machina' I call to the distant horizons where all things seem to merge into one and yet the moon still smiles down upon the distant twinkling lights of Sapporo.

Dad and I drove to Sapporo and spent the evening with my eldest brother, Tokutaro. When we were children he was the leader and I always tried to emulate him, probably much to the disconcertion of father. Our brother was strong and decisive and that's what I wanted to be too. It is no wonder that I got into so much trouble all those times at school. Emulation rarely appears natural!

The years pass and we grow older and he has now become very much our Fathers son. He is cool and yet dynamic and he has a powerful business drive just like Father did. He seems distant now as if he alone bears the weight of future fortunes upon his shoulders. It is a sad and painful admission that I do not seem to know him now in our adult years when such distance has made us strangers. I asked him when he last spoke with Hiro, our youngest brother. With the smile of chess player sensing victory he gave his answer and said without hesitation that it was last July when I was in hospital and he came to visit. I think to myself why so long? I asked and the time before that? It was then that his smile faded as he struggled with his memories.

I reached across the table and touched his hand and he at once looked uncomfortable. Shiori, my sister in law, looked at me as if I was most daring in my manner, but remained quiet.
"Let us not be strangers" I begged of him and I promised him that Hiro and I would call him at least once a month and we could share our news. I was happy to see just for a moment the corners of his mouth turn upwards as if remembering that once they used to be able to smile. He nodded once.
So much like Father used to be before he mellowed out.
It was very good to see him once again and I hope he felt the same about me.

Oh let the voices of madness sing sweet songs to me
and let the hours forget about me and the currents pull me where they will.
I will not journey there to fall but to fly.

	Anna Ternheim - Today Is A Good Day
	Found at skreemr.com

Moments are here and then they are gone and the present is of such impermanence as if to question reality itself as we are forever falling into the next moment. Don't let the years drift by, please do your best to make all your moments special and enjoy each and every one of them.

I have burned my candle at both ends and as such it won't last long but still the light is glorious.